Last Thursday morning, I did a terribly crazy thing and woke up at 4am. Why, you ask? Press play.
I made it to the Americana at Brand around 6 in the morning, wearing my favorite plaid trench and some comfortable oxfords. I was ready to dawn the long lines and hopefully snag that whimsical flower necklace (honestly, the only piece in the collection I was coveting).
When I reached Glendale, I anticipated lines around the building. As I drove past, no lines in front of the store. I parked and walked over. I perked up when I saw the window display. The shop girl was sprucing it up and glanced up at me with the most annoyed look on her face. Again, no lines. Odd and much too good to be true. I was going to walk around and do some window shopping, when at the corner of my eye, there it was....the line. Some people looked like they camped out, with sleeping bags, a mattress...a lot of people were still wearing pajamas. I walked passed and checked out my competition. I was glad to see that I wasn't that far behind (maybe 100 people in). I snapped some polaroids, C O M I N G S O O N, and made some friends.
Jennifer, and I didn't catch the other woman's name, but I do know that she works at the Atwater Village farmer's market and sells soap? ? As we got to the front of the line and could see people leaving with bags and bags full of stuff, we felt a little defeated. This lady came out wearing a leopard print coat and little dainty heels. Her man was with her, in sweats and a baseball cap, carrying all her goodies. The peanut gallery was in full effect at that moment, and my new friends made me laugh with the commentary. There was so much hype for this collection, as there should be, yet that just elevated everything to the worst level. When it was finally our time (around 9:30am), I was part of a group of 30 that was able to enter the store. They only gave us 15 minutes to shop, and I had forgotten what my game plan was. Well, frankly, I didn't really have a game plan. They also distract you with music, L O U D music. Then this guy on a megaphone tells people when their time is up.
"Only 5 seconds remaining ! ! !"
So much pressure.
My worst nightmares came true when I saw that there were no accessories in sight. Just one necklace, similar to the one I wanted, on display. The display area was off limits. What a tease.
When I finally got to enter the section, women started to push their way through, and by that point I felt so unmotivated to grab anything. It was a madhouse of cat fights, and grabby hands, and size 0s, and unlined parkas, with nothing left for me. I had a chance to grab one of the tee shirts, but when I saw it up close, I felt underwhelmed.
"meh" became my reaction for that morning. I don't know if any collection is worth this kind of agony. I know that I need to spend at least two hours in a store, and that excludes trying things on (add 20 minutes, maybe).
You can find photos of the collection and the extended commercial by Sofia Coppola here. Also on ebay, most likely.
your friend,
ava
